We all have a “Shadow”—a term coined by psychologist Carl Jung to describe the parts of ourselves we deny or push away because they feel socially unacceptable, “bad,” or inconsistent with our self-image. This might be our hidden anger, our intense ambition, or even a buried talent we were told was “too much.” “The Shadow Side” explores why ignoring these traits actually gives them more power, and how bringing them into the light is the key to becoming a truly integrated, authentic person.
The Cost of Suppression
When we suppress our shadow, it doesn’t disappear; it just operates from the darkness. It manifests as sudden outbursts, self-sabotaging behavior, or intense projections where we find ourselves irrationally annoyed by someone else’s traits. By constantly trying to “be good” or “stay small,” we drain our energy. Integrating the shadow means acknowledging these parts so we can choose how to use their energy constructively.
Three Ways to Begin Shadow Work:
- Notice Your Strong Reactions:
- When someone “triggers” you or makes you feel an intense amount of judgment, ask: “What is it about them that I am not allowing in myself?” Often, the things we dislike most in others are the very traits we have suppressed in our own shadow.
- Give Your Shadow a Creative Outlet:
- Your shadow often contains raw, powerful energy. Use art, writing, or even competitive sports to give those hidden parts a voice. When you allow your “darker” or “stronger” emotions to be expressed safely, they stop leaking into your daily life in destructive ways.
- Practice Radical Honesty with Yourself:
- Set aside time to journal about your “secret” thoughts—the ones you’d never tell anyone. Acknowledge your jealousy, your cravings for power, or your laziness. By simply saying, “Yes, this is also a part of me,” you take away the shame that keeps the shadow hidden.
The Gold in the Dark
Shadow work isn’t just about facing your “demons”; it’s about reclaiming your power. Often, we bury our greatest strengths—our creativity, our assertiveness, our uniqueness—because they didn’t fit in. By integrating your shadow, you become less reactive, more confident, and profoundly more whole.
What’s Coming Next…
In our next installment, “The Mirror of Relationship,” we’ll explore how our interactions with others act as a powerful tool for self-discovery.
